I was once a loyal lover.

I love Death Cab for Cutie.
And Hans Christian Anderson.
And the sun.
And burritos.
And Ithaca.
And cuddling.
And I wish you liked me.

I like this.

"All the intelligence and talent in the world can't make a singer. The voice is a wild thing. It can't be bred in captivity. It is a sport, like the silver fox. It happens"

Willa Cather (1873-1947)

--------------------

I very much like this quote of the day thing.

I finally told.

Last night, I finally told my mom.

I am a DWEEB.

We talk more and more everyday.
And everyday I find out we like more and more of the same things.
Even the same crappy and strange shows.
And how we both get majorly distracted by the same things on wikipedia when trying to do homework.
Not to mention our compatible music tastes.

It's still just a crush.
...
Maybe.
...
I think.


:D

I feel gross.

I am very tired.
I do not like this 9 to 12 in the morning rehearsal thing all week.
And I feel like this a lot:

I was pissed.

Patrice shadowed me at school on Thursday. She came Wednesday night, so we got to cuddle and sleep together so I was happy. School was still school. But it was plus Patsy, which felt normal, but it wasn't, which obviously means that she belongs at Nottingham and that she should just get her ass over here already.
I had rehearsal so she went off with Zoe and I told them that I would text them when I was done so we could meet up or something of the sort.
At 5 15 or so I had finished so I sent a text to Zoe and she said Patsy was with Kathleen. I sent a text to Kathleen and didn't get a reply. I started walking home, still waiting for Kathleen to reply. I sent another one fifteen minutes later. Still no reply. The Gabbey picked me up as I was walking and drove me the rest of the way home. I got home.

"Wednesday. Where's Patrice. Her mom just called and she doesn't know where she is."
"She went of with Zoe but she's with Kathleen now apparently, but I have no clue where they are, Kathleen isn't responding to me."
"Well Patrice needs to call her mom, she sounded a little worried."

I sent a text to Kathleen then:
"Is Patrice with you? Where are you guys? Patrice needs to call her mom."
I still didn't get a reply. At this point I'm kinda starting to freak out. I have no clue where she went. Did something happen? Or is Kathleen just ignoring me to be a bitch? Then I asked Ray if she knew where she was was:
"Yeah. She's at the park with Kathleen I'm going to meet them now."
...I was pissed. Obviously Kathleen's phone had been working. She was texting ray. Then I called her.
"Is Patrice with you? I've been looking for her for over an hour."
"hahahahahaha oh yeah."
"Well she needs to come and call her mom. She's been looking for her."
"haahahHAHA We already called her awhile ago hahaha"
...are they fucking serious...
"Thanks for letting me know where you went"
"hahahahaaaa what?"
*click*

I was livid at this point. I had been looking for her and freaking out. And they didn't even have the decency to tell me where the fuck they were? It's not even like I wanted to hang out with them. I just wanted to know where the fuck she want because her mom had left her with me.
I get a text:
"Are you mad?!"
I honestly really don't like Kathleen.

I just layed in bed for the next three hours listening to Minus the Bear really loud and took a nap.
"Hey Patrice, just walked by the house with Kathleen I think. Are you guys meeting up?"
"Fuck no."
"...oh"
I just kept sleeping.

The next day I was still just frustrated. They still didn't get why I was frustrated. I went to Target with my mom. Patrice starts texting me asking me if she can get her stuff. I tell her I'm not home. Her mom is coming before I'm going to be home. No one is home, she should've gotten it yesterday instead of disappearing. That starts a tiff. She gets mad at me. I already didn't give a fuck. It went on. I just kept shopping. My mom makes me feel better because she understood that I was pissed and why I was and yeah. She agreed with me.

I get home. Go upstairs.
There's a note on my bed:
"Got my stuff. Love yous."

I didn't really care.

I am tired.

Robert's 18th birthday party was on friday night.
In conclusion:

• Spin the bottle gets crazy when you keep landing on the same person.
• I like kissing Dan Feilds.
• Dan Minton kisses necks really well.
• When both Dan's go at your neck it is crazzzyyyy.
• Ray and I basically have no sexual feeling towards each other.
• Zoe and I have known each other to long to kiss.
• I'm not good at scary movies.
• I really like hugging warm people and sleeping next to them.
• RAY AND ZOE ARE SUPER CUTE.
• This was the first time I had actually made out with someone really in like, three or four months and it was glorious.
  
• I'm going to miss Robert so freaking much when he leaves...

And because Gabbey was being a party pooper... There's a chance that none of us will be allowed at the Gorman house hold again...

Yesterday Ray came over for a little bit. We layed in bed and played ukulele. We talked and it was great. I love Raymond. Then Sammy came and joined us. It was still fun.

I talked to Travis the other night again.
Lucy has been talking to me on facebook. I actually really miss that girl. Even if she scares me.
I miss them. A lot.

I think I might try to flirt with him. But it will probably really backfire. So I probably won't, because I'm a wus.


I just want someone to cuddle with.

I have been lazy.

It's been a very very very long time since I last wrote here.

Jesus Christ Superstar went wonderful.

I'm on ADD meds. They are actually working quite well.

I got cast in Nunsense. I'm Amnesia.

I'm very excited.
(My dad isn't)

I'm crushing. So hard, so hard.
He's talking more to me now.
And now I'm even dreaming about him.
Oh, flutterflies...

Mr. Little accidentally made me cry the other day.
He felt really bad when he realized he was yelling at me for the wrong reasons...
So he's most likely giving me an incomplete for the marking period...
It's a long story...

I've kinda been keeping to myself lately.
Everyone else has kinda seemed to team up, and I just don't seem to make the pick.

I'm starting to get really tired of people making fun of me, or being assholes in general to me.
I've learned to deal with it so they don't get the satisfaction.
But it's not like it doesn't completely fuck with my self esteem or mood.
One of these days, I'm going to burst on someone and point out every flaw they have.
I don't care if they were joking or not.
I'm tired of taking this shit and not being a bitch back.

I honestly hate people.
I really, really do.